CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
