Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I deserve this hangover.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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