I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
