You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
