Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
