you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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