Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
