its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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