piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
