Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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