Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
