I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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