I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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