can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
