just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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