Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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