yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
