I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
