somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
