What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
