Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
