Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
