she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
