someone threw a dead crab at me
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
