Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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