he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
