scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
They left me at home... I'm a liability
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
