Walk of Shame. In a state park.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
