Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
