Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
His hands were made for my vagina.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
