There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
