is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
