Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Please don't give away my fajitas
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
