no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
