capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize