He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
