2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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