Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
