But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
