I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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