We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
