uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
