I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
