fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
