If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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