he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
