Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
