Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
