She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
