# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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