im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
