every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
