i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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