So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Randomize
