You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
