The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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