He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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