I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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